Table of Content
The author is self indulgent and weaves her fantastic state of friendship affairs in and out of historic discusssion of the evolution of feminine friendship as represented on television. I read to avoid television and reading this book is like watching all the television shows I’ve avoided . The author replays way too much of mentioned show episodes, and as a premise this hardly reads as a sociological analysis but more as a bunch of chicks bonding over favorite TV shows as they daintily throwback a glass of Prosecco . It’s a shame because I think this analysis is meaningful to make and value can be gained for those whom may struggle with female friendships, groups of women, or just don’t fit into the shiny new Stepford gal personae. Perhaps the author can submit this book to TV guide and gain the response they’re seeking for this effort.
They believed the family unit superseded other relationships, and my early thinking that female friendships were superfluous came directly from their example and that of other families like ours in my hometown. The author, Kayleen Schaefer, does an excellent job of weaving her own memories and stories of her friends in with an exploration of female friendship in the 20th century . She ties in interviews with women she has known throughout her life, including her high school "Queen Bee," her mother, and her current best friend, as well as media examples, such as the movie Mean Girls and the book it was based on. This started out promisingly, celebrating the benefits of friendships between women and the love and affection that women can have for each other.
Audible.com.au reviews
While my local community hasn't always been as big as I've wanted, I have always, always had at least a few close friends. As I've grown older, I've stayed connected to a large number of friends, not only across the US but around the world. So often I'd finish reading a chapter and be awash with gratitude for the women in my life. Don't be surprised if you feel a deep need to call or text your friends to tell them how wonderful they are.
The release of Text Me When You Get Home could not be more timely. As I read my advance copy, the #MeToo movement had started to emerge and it made for quite the backdrop to my reading experience. The book illustrated the many ways women look out for one another and support each other. I tended to agree, but in the NEXT chapter, she discusses how in college, she herself lost a good friend for going on a date with a male whom she knew her friend was interested in. On the positive side, Text Me When You Get Home is a super light, easy, fast read. Also, it made me think about all my amazing best friends the entire time I read it, which is a lovely experience.
by Kayleen Schaefer
However, I am really looking forward to discussing it for my feminist book club. From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on a confident woman's approach to friendship, singlehood, and relationships. "Girl Logic" is Iliza's term for the way women obsess over details and situations that men don't necessarily even notice. She describes it as a characteristically female way of thinking that appears to be contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. Well written and full of stories of experiences, Schaerer does a good job of being so pro-female relationship it was hard to critique.
The phrase grounds this work and offers a place for Schaefer to start her exploration. Schaefer paints this picture that as long as you have your girlfriends by your side, you are capable of being satisfied in all areas of your life. Thanks to NetGalley, Penguin Group Dutton, and the author for the opportunity to read the digital ARC in exchange for this honest review.
Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship
Stepp follows three groups of young women and comes away with some disturbing insights. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed or, worse, seen as impossible. Many young women can't handle this, and they're being battered physically and emotionally by the new dating landscape. "Text me when you get home." After joyful nights out together, female friends say this to one another as a way of cementing their love. It’s about safety; but more than that, it’s about solidarity.
For instance, we learn the history of Galentine's Day, which was created on Parks & Rec and has become an actual holiday women celebrate in the years since. Just thinking about Leslie and Ann's friendship makes me happy. Text Me When You Get Home is a good introduction to female friendship and feminism, but it certainly didn't challenging me or teach me anything I didn't already know.
Currently Reading
One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? In The Midnight Library, Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. When Blume lived in New Jersey with her husband, Mary lived in New York with hers, and the couples didn't socialize. The writer Judy Blume, who is in her seventies, also moved away from her friends when she married, at twenty-one.
It is WILD to me that Schaefer did not realize this until she started to work. Granted, we all realize things at different paces but the book come off so condescending as if women haven't been relying on each other for emotional support for centuries. There are some interesting bits, like even the comparison between the post-war generation of stay at home moms and 2nd wave feminism, or what friendship might have meant in the Middle Ages. The conclusion hints at a more engaging read, since somehow between the Middle Ages and the Edwardian/Victorian period women were suddenly expected to have close, abiding friendships with other women. Or how 21st century women might be renegotiating things like domestic partnerships, child rearing, and retirement. But no, instead we get recaps of 90s tv shows, shallow personal anecdotes, and endless man on the street quotes that add up to essentially nothing.
I have read other books that make this point beautifully...I didn't read it here. She went on to assume it was impossible to be friends with girls so she made friends with guys and had no girlfriends or best friends until she wised up and found her friend set and they're all in love and everything is lovely. Also, media shows us that there are no healthy female friendships but we shouldn't listen to them because she is living proof that #squads exist and you need one. It was too chatty, anecdotal, heavy on pop culture references and felt very specific to young, white privileged middle or upper middle class women’s experiences. I don’t know, I’m not sure what I wanted from this book but I didn’t get it.
Friendship doesn't always look like #squadgoals, though it certainly can. #squadgoals, however, always looked like women who were in freshman dorm or summer camp together finding out they liked each other and showing their enthusiasm for their unit to the world. It lacked a sense of permanence, focusing solely on youth and exuberance and exciting moments. I did a lot of eyerolling at her un-self-aware stories. But, honestly, this isn't even a new thing, mean girls have always existed.
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